Témák:
Intro
Policies
The t-shirts
The logo
The Size Machine
Ordering
Credit cards
Deadlines
Stock
Complaints
Sale!
Links
Outro
Intro
In the beginning there was kindergarten. We smeared spinach all over each other's clothes. Or red beet. Back then toothpaste was for eating, and spoiling dad's suit with it.
In school we threw chalk at each other, only to be dusting our clothes afterwards.
Then came years of experimenting. The description of this would contain too much Eastern Europen cultural references, so I'll spare you the monologue.
All in all, we're now high priestes of offset transfer.
Policies
We created this site to get rich. Our devious plan is to acquire your precious Dollars from you. To achieve this you will need to order lots of t-shirts. This is good for us. Primarily. It's also good for you, partly because you can give us your money. Our crazy concept will only go through, if you are satisfied. Satisfied people are more likely to give away money. If you feel like it, you can send money without any particular reason to this address: zengei3@freemail.hu, via PayPal. We'll make sure it vanishes while drinking beer and playing foosball inside a dark bar. This is no joke.
In reality we would really like to have our own foosball table. Our only joy in this estranges matrixist world. Foosball.
The t-shirts
We press the designs onto quality chinese material. Again, you're thinking, this is a joke. You're right. They are made in Honduras.
We work on Gildan, and Sol's shirts, which are all 100% cotton. The stuff is good, we wore the test shirts for days without washing them. We started to stink, but the shirts didn't mind.
The logo
On the sleeve of every shirt, there is our logo. This is a must, you can't have a t-shirt without it. Nonetheless, if you want one without, please order a logoless piece of clothing from Nike. Then forward the answer you recieve to ous, because we'd like to know what they'll say.
The Size Machine
The Size Machine opens in a popup. Please enable popups for this site.
Ordering
Nobody believed when we told them we'd have online ordering. Not even us. And now here it is. We think this is a pretty straightforward interface, so we won't go into details about how to use it. If you feel we are in error, and it's not so straightforward after all, write us a mail, and we'll reply you with a mail in which we call you stupid. You deserve it. info@polopokol.com
Postage
Your t-shirt will be disguised as a very thick letter. You pay postage, the fees are calculated at check-out.
The average postage for one t-shirt should be around EUR 7-8 to anywhere in the world. The price is calculated based on your place of your residence, when you make your order.
Delivery takes about 2 weeks, or less, or more (see below, at 'Deadlines').
You can also get your shirt personally, if you happen to be in Budapest. Which you won't be, because you probably don't know where it is, or you are confusing it with Bukarest.
The shop
Our shop is in Budapest, 12 Váci str, in the yard, underground, to the left, then left, then right. Here's a map for ya.
Payment
You can pay via PayPal for now. Credit card acceptance is coming.
Deadlines
We strive to be as quick as possible. Ideally your t-shirts will arrive in 10 days. Plus the time we screw around with the shirt first. So it should be there in about 15 days. If all goes awry, you may have to wait up to 20 days. In really dramatic situations, 3 weeks. If we appear dead, and the neighbors call the ambulance because of the smell, 5 weeks. Several customers had to realize that months passed since they had ordered their shirts. And some people never get the t-shirts. We will hide from these people with our heads hung in shame for the rest of our lives.
Stock
If we're out of something, you won't be able to order it. So hopefully you won't have to wait in vain because we're out of something. In our one year existence we only had two major shortages that lasted for 6 months :)
Complaints
You don't have any, because you're satisfied. But we already discussed this. Or write to info@polopokol.com
Sale!
Our 'Buy one, get none free' sale keeps on going thanks to it's unanimous success. This means that you pay for one shirt, and get exactly one shirt. Read everything carefully, and don't let the pattern-based functionality of your mammal-brain fool you.
Links
People who helped us, have been good to us, and people we like:
Outro
So, my dear friend, time is money, so quit readin', and get buyin'. |
